When I conducted one of my trainings, a young woman came to him, Elena (35 years old). Lena has been married for 15 years. After marriage, she left a child - a teenager. Before the divorce, her husband was the only man in her life, so she practically had no experience with men. No wonder that after the divorce, she did not manage to build relationships with men. The main reason was precisely that she simply did not know how to communicate with them.
Dating site that realy works
The whole thing turned out to be that she got married early, her husband was the only man with whom she talked, as with a man (including sexually).
She had very few contacts with men after the divorce. Mostly communication takes place at work, but it takes place only on working moments.
Elena as a whole is a beautiful girl, she is invited to a man’s date, but this does not go beyond the first date. She remarks that she does not know how to talk with men, how to behave with them, how to be feminine.
I note that a significant part of the women who come to my training have very little experience in communicating with men, and therefore do not know how to build the right dialogs with them. The reasons for this are different, but the result is always the same - loneliness.
You need to be able to communicate - this is a fact. Much has been written about how to communicate, and I do not want to repeat myself with regular tips on this topic, since this will be a completely different article. Moreover, in my training “30 tips and secrets of matchmaking” there is a whole block on the topic of communication with men. The main thing in this business is practice.
How can you help in this situation? I offer a simple and effective way to gain experience in dealing with men - a dating site. Look at a dating site as an opportunity to develop communication skills with men.
Using this resource, you get a unique opportunity to see your mistakes in building a dialogue with a man, and the opportunity not to make such mistakes in the future in a real meeting.
So. We go to any dating site, register there, fill out the form and start pumping. What is this method good for comparing with other options?
You will be able to choose any roles for yourself, play various scenario situations and your various qualities, though positive, even negative.
You can write anything about yourself, any age, any city. Come up with any story of your life and try yourself in this role.
You will see how men react to different stories.
You will be able to live through the various feelings that arose in communication.
You will have the opportunity to become more confident, and at least temporarily forget about your complexes. And there, you see, they will completely disappear from your life.
You will be able to turn first, and feel what it is.
You will begin to come up with topics for conversation, and you will learn how to maintain a conversation.
And the most important thing! These communication skills will be very useful to you in real life.
It is important to understand that you should not treat this as something serious. Imagine you are a male explorer. So explore Men on such sites a huge number. The “material” for research was simply heaps. So go ahead!
Dating on dating sites
Online dating is not really what people think they are.
What is the advantage of dating sites?
The most important advantage for women like my heroine is that all the people there are ready to get to know each other, and they are ready to talk. Therefore, getting acquainted on such sites is very easy and simple.
A dating site develops the ability to analyze. According to the information in the questionnaire, you will learn how to compose a portrait of the interlocutor, based on such moments as: the straightforwardness of the interlocutor, his openness, style and manner of communication, and so on.
You can allow yourself to meet a person whom you would never allow yourself to meet in the real world because of your fears (he has the wrong way of life, the wrong hobbies, he’s too cool for me).
In my experience, you can search for a man for a serious relationship on dating sites, if you follow some rules:
Create your profile in which simply and clearly tell about yourself. Simplicity and clarity are what attract men.
Tell me about your interests. Men are much easier to get closer if he sees similar interests.
Your photos should be fresh, even if you think that you have not changed at all over the last ... years. Believe me, you have changed. Often women came to me, bringing photos of three years ago, with the words: “Yes, here I am still the same, I just changed my hairstyle ...”. If you don’t want to see disappointment on the man’s face when you meet, but you don’t feel awkward, take care of yourself in advance. Well, to be a superstar in the photo - put yourself in order, do a good make-up, visit a beautician and go to a photo shoot. It's inexpensive for money, but investing in yourself is the best investment in life.
Do not waste time on uninteresting correspondence. Why do you need a boring interlocutor? With this, for sure, nothing will work.
Do not drag out virtual communication. Weeks of active communication on the site is a perfectly acceptable indicator. And then it’s worth going into real communication.
Do not let the man begin to look after you in correspondence. Thus, we can bring relationships to intimacy precisely through the site, and therefore we will lose in this way all the charm of courtship and flirtation inherent in the first stages of dating.
For the first meeting, choose a crowded place ... in the afternoon ... just in case
And remember! Dating on the site can be interesting and useful if you do it right! By the way, to do it right, I recommend that you listen to my training “30 secrets and tips of the matchmaker.” There we devote a whole block to communicating with men. Listen to it and try to start on dating sites. You will like it - believe me!
P.S. And how do you feel about dating on dating sites? Tell in the comments your opinion, your experience, your objections. I will be very interested.
